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Adult Bullies

I am middle aged. Something I am proud of. I don’t mind getting old even if the person who has been bullying me for two years now likes to throw verbal insults, like “you’re old, you LOSER!” in my face. I don’t see myself as old. I see myself as wiser and stronger. And when people meet me they can’t believe that I am as old as I am. So for me getting older is a win win situation. But this isn’t my point. The point is there is a middle-aged “adult” bully in my life at a time when I thought such childish behavior would be behind me.

But, some people are so jealous of others, in fact in love with another person’s life that they have to try and cut it down to make themselves feel better. Can you imagine feeling so worthless that you have to terrorize someone else to feel better about yourself? I doubt it works for her, but this is the only resource she has after 49 some-odd-years of living on this planet. Her only skill set is to humiliate and destroy those she has targeted.

The truth is these adult bullies have no life of their own and it makes them angry. But instead of going out and getting their own life, they waste their time trying to destroy another. My bully likes to harass me in many ways. She has verbally threatened to harm me physically. She has verbally thrown hundreds of insults at me, like “you are old, baron, stupid, and a loser,” just to name of few. All of which, I know are not true. Actually what I have come to realize over the years is this, these are things my bully is made of. She reflects her own inadequacies onto me.

After two years of enduring this bully and doing research on bullying, I can now start to separate myself from it and find the humor in it. Humor is the freedom from any tyranny. My conclusion, my bully is in love with me. This acknowledgement comes from deep within me. The soul knows. This may seem odd, but love has many meanings, one of which is affection based on common interests. Our common interests, my bully wants to be my Facebook friend, my Instagram follower, my Google+ follower, at my home when uninvited, you name it. She is lurking and constantly trying to infiltrate all of my social media and personal life. She really is obsessed with getting a reaction out of me to validate her control.

And yes, I have to admit, she did get me to react, but that was after a year and half of her continuous bullying. I mean, even Mother Theresa would have reacted. We are only human after all. And the research shows it is a natural reaction to want to stick up for yourself. So I reacted exactly how she wanted me to with anger because I was scared. And then she turned it around, got a lawyer, and claimed she was being victimized by me. She is a sneaky mentally disturbed lady. What I should have done was confronted her openly which is recommended. Confront them, with support, an advocate, and ask them to stop.

After two years of researching bullies and examining my own experience I have concluded, my bully is so jealous of me and wants my life so desperately that is has become an obsession and love affair with her. My good life makes her so angry, and since she can’t manage to fulfill her own life she is “hell bent on ruining mine.” My adult bully feels better belittling and threatening harm to others, since usually an adult bully has many victims. Know you are not alone. I can see now, she really has a deep desire to be me. She wishes she had my successful career, my creative talents, and most of all my ability to be in long loving relationships. I know this because she constantly refers to the things in my life as insignificant, while trying to boost her own. Like I care what she has or doesn’t have. I just want to be left alone.

You know when you have those ‘aha moments’ that seem to come from a place higher than yourself? Ever since I had this realization, I am starting to feel better about my situation that will probably be in my life as long as I reside where I do. I realize this bully is not me. The things she says, are about her. I will not take on her troubles. And neither should anyone out there terrorized by a bully. Just realizing a bully is in their own world of anguish, which has nothing to do with you, will make you feel better. And confronting them is empowering. Just make sure you have someone there to support and protect you, if needed. You may find it will stop. You may find it gets worse, which was my case. Yet it has made me realize, my worthy life really bothers her. She is weaker than me. Hate, as powerful as it seems, is always weaker than just.

Tips for stopping an adult bully

Remember their motivation: “Adult bullies act out for the same reasons that kid bullies do; they’re trying to make up for some shortcoming of their own.” But the adult bully has gotten much better at hiding what they do, since they have developed a diagnosable personality disorder, so:
•    Separate yourself from them, if possible
•    Stop playing the victim, meaning don’t react back
•    Take a stand, meaning confront them with preparation and assertion
•    Tell someone who can help, get an advocate
•    Document the abuse

Related articles:
•    How to handle being bullied as an adult
•    Beware of the criminal hiding behind God

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Easily train developers on secure coding best practices

New threats and cybersecurity risks are being developed and conceived of every day. With cybersecurity threats on the rise, companies look to their developers as a first line of defense when it comes to application security. Without proper security, hackers can easily access applications and steal private data—putting your customers and business at risk.

Large corporations invest millions of dollars to keep their organization secure and safe from potential threats. Unfortunately, investing time and money has little impact if developers don’t understand their role in the security plan and don’t have the knowledge to act out the plan in place.

Gaining skills through training

More often than not, developers aren’t always thinking about security when coding an application. This lack of focus poses risks and creates the potential for vulnerabilities within the code. By offering training opportunities to your developers, you can help them learn to think securely during the development process. Thinking securely is key to avoid making mistakes later on. By investing in training, developers also gain a valuable skill that will help them increase job productivity. In this sense, training helps reduce vulnerabilities before they happen and saves time and money if something does happen in the future.

Getting developers engaged in training

The most challenging part of implementing a security training program for developers is getting them engaged with the training. Common issues that developers site, include: training interferes with work and deadlines, the courses are not relevant, and why do I really need training?

Human error accounts for 52 percent of the root cause of security breaches, according to a new study from CompTIA, which surveyed individuals from hundreds of companies in the U.S.

To overcome these issues, employee commitments need to be taken into consideration during the training process.To engage developers, it’s important to work with them. Training is an ongoing program, and learning to balance training and deadlines is mandatory for success. With role-based online training, you can specify which modules suit certain employees to make sure the proper courses are being offered to the right people. By informing employees about their role in regards to software security, they will be more likely to understand what’s expected of them.The 2015 Stack Overflow Developer Survey tells us 45 percent of developers have six or more years of experience. These results lead you to believe that there are a large number of inexperienced developers who likely don’t have much application security knowledge. About 42 percent of developers are also self-taught, which means they may not know even the basic best practices of application security.

Implementing application security training for developers starts with understanding the needs of your engineers. Reduce vulnerabilities and risks within your organization by rolling out a computer-based training program to your developers.

Get started today with HP Software Education’s Application Security curriculum for developer security awareness.Security awareness turns your biggest liability (your staff!) into your biggest asset. You can read more on how to make your non-IT users more security aware here.

Source: Easily train developers on secure coding best prac… – HP Enterprise Business Community, written by Anita Parrish.

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No Justice for victims enduring bullies

Today a victim of bullying was in court as Plaintiff vs. the Monster with the presiding Judge I-Don’t-Care. The Plaintiff was seeking a Protection Order (PTO) against the Monster for 8 months of relentless bullying. The Plaintiff had evidence, that could reach the top of Mount Rushmore, no pun intended, of constant threats and stalking in both her personal and cyber life. The Monster has been threatening Plaintiff’s family too! Monster lied under oath, stating she didn’t know Plaintiff.

The injustice is the Plaintiff’s story wasn’t heard because Monster brought a lawyer. Plaintiff didn’t have a lawyer. Monster’s lawyer, the other Monster, interrupted the Plaintiff continuously, lied under oath also, and Judge allowed this behavior to happen. In the end, he listened to ranting lies versus seeking truth.

Courts in the U.S. seem to be a joke. Justice, these days, seems to be lost. He made his decision based on no physical harm. Two women fighting, bullying, cat fight, harmless, erotic, or something like that. His only concern was whether the Plaintiff was on the lease of where the bullying happened. My question, “Are you on the lease at a grocery store or on the street? What about the office building or restaurant?” Seems anyone can harass you unless you’re on the lease.

Bullying and stalking anywhere is illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong last I checked! He dismissed all of the cyber harassing, all the uninvited trespassing, and the stealing and destruction of property. Monster laughed afterwards promising Plaintiff she is making a career out of bullying her with the intent on destroying. Just so you know, Monster is 5 foot, 160 pounds of cankles and bulbous fat, even after $30,000.00 in liposuction surgery, with skunk-streaked blond hair . She was born on July 13th, Friday the 13th, how ironic.

Just so you will know, Plaintiff has hundreds of documentation and messages from Monster that Monster will get Plaintiff. And the Plaintiff was granted no protection except for the hopes of filing again – dismissed without prejudice. “What until Monster really hurts you before we will take you seriously.” was my conclusion. Meanwhile, Monster continues to be a monster.

For information on combating bullying go here.
On a related story go here: Beware of criminal hiding behind God

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Beware of the criminal hiding behind God

A woman is harassing, stalking, and stealing from her ex-husband.These offenses are coming from a woman who claims she is a woman of God. He had to flee the home for his own safety and escape the years of living in hell.

Men are victimized just like women but hardly does it get the attention it deserves. Let’s get this stated, under federal and state laws harassment, stalking, and stealing are criminal offenses!

She has stolen this man’s identity on several occasions and has managed to steal tens of thousands of dollars from him. She is not only stalking and harassing him, but she regularly stalks and harasses his family (siblings, parents) and anyone who has come into this man’s life (friends, co-workers). She has gone as far as hiring a PI to spy on him along with his family and friends.

He has received thousands upon thousands of threats from her through emails, phone calls, text messages, and when there has to be physical contact. She has hit him in the past. She managed to get him fired from his job. He had to go because of all the harassment his boss and fellow co-workers were enduring. She has stolen stuff from his new residence. She has said on many occasions she is out to get this man and ruin his life. Stating she will get all his money, he will have nothing when she is through. “Let’s Play!” she cackles.

She has destroyed most of his belongings that were in the home, since he had to leave with nothing but the shirt on his back. His stuff now laying in waste in the basement while she lies to their kids, “Your father did it, I’m not cleaning it up!” Unfortunately the kids are being brainwashed constantly buying into her hate, anger, and lies. Their dad has to reinforce the truth every time they are with him, but once they go back to this woman the brainwashes ensues and somehow she manages to persuade them into complete confusion An endless cycle for him. This from a woman who claims to be a Christian!  She takes the kids to church Sundays with her new religious boyfriend. As a façade, perhaps for the “demons” that lurk inside.

This woman tells everyone God is working with her (not her husband) in a divine plan for her and her children. But then she quietly plots and tortures her ex-husband warning, “Bad people get what is coming to them!” He gave her a nice home. She got to be the stay home mother she always wanted, when most mothers have to work. And yet she never took care of the home or the children. He still had to hire a nanny and a maid. This mother found watching reality TV more useful of her time.

She has stated she thinks she is God. She says that since she has the ability to give birth, she is closer to God. After all, she has a healthy uterus. She must be special in God’s eyes. She says, “God gave me babies. anyone who doesn’t have children did something bad and God is punishing them by giving them a rotten uterus.”

The sadistic part of all this, she uses her children for her own deceit instead of loving them. She interrogates them to give up information about their father and then she uses the information to harass him and any friend he brings around his children. They are little spies for her. She is slowly turning them into the monster she is. She has great power over these little beings and she thrives on it.

It is clear to me she cares less about her children than she does about the power they give her over her ex. She boost her children are everything to her, but they really are not. She is everything to herself. She can’t even provide them with the basic necessities in life, like food. She doesn’t cook for them and she has sent them off to school without a lunch on many occasions. Can you imagine as a young person how vulnerable this would make you feel? She has absolutely no empathy. She just wants bragging rights like she is the best mommy. You may be a mother, but you are no mommy. Your children cry to their father, “She never does anything, dad! We don’t even know if we are going to have lunch for school.” Is this a woman who is coming from a place of God and Jesus? She thinks so.

She won’t allow the children to visit their own grandparents. While she talks a good talk about her own absent mother, she trashes his parents. His parents who have supported them regularly from the beginning. Now she lies and says they are bad people. She is wrong! Grandparents are God’s gift to children for their unconditional love they can give to grand-kids. Something children need for healthy development. The children are stunted in their emotional growth according to experts.

It’s so sad the court is not recognizing how sick this woman is towards her children. They have stated only that she is a compromised parent. This woman who isn’t nurturing or protecting of her children like a mom. She isn’t providing them with the emotional or mental support. a mom would do. Actually quite the opposite, she is poisoning them with a hateful and angry outlook on life. Every time they are with their father they are all confused and angry until he manages to turn them around. My hope is he will always have this positive loving influence on them. His biggest fear is that they will turn out to be just like their mother!

For information on bullying and stalking click here.

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